more pearls than whine

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

One person's courage ... to LET HER SPEAK

While I was walking my dog along the lake road this evening, I was thinking about a brief encounter with a visitor today.

I would have liked to visit with her, ask impertinent questions, find out her "story," because everybody has one. Hers sounded like it would be more unique and interesting than most ... filled with boldness and courage, but I never got the details. Ah ... the missed story.

In any case, the encounter did make me think about courage, itself. I could say, "I wish I had her courage!" Whatever her courage actually was ... I had the sense that perhaps she listened to her inner voice and went wherever it guided her, that she did what was important to her. I'd like to think that was true. To do that would certainly require courage, especially if what you wanted to do was unconventional or difficult for friends and family to grasp.

Then I thought that maybe that it didn't really require "Courage" because it was so natural and not at all difficult to walk her path, because that's the way she was made ... and it wouldn't occur to her to do things any other way. Maybe it only looks courageous to someone else looking in from the outside, who doesn't have the same kind of courage ... who couldn't have possibly done those same things.

People lacking that particular type of courage certainly have courage of their own, in areas they take for granted. They just don't realize it. Because it comes naturally, it doesn't actually take "courage."

Here's a very small example. I will go anywhere by myself. In a car, plane, bus, train ... whatever. I went to Mexico a few years ago by myself (not a tour). I'll go to a movie by myself, or eat out in a restaurant. I discovered that "everybody" doesn't do that ... and in fact, some would be afraid or at least uncomfortable ... and simply not do it. To someone else, I might be brave and courageous. That wouldn't be true. It is just natural for me.

Even when I was a teenager, I would go to movies by myself. It didn't make sense to me to have a "date" just to go to the show if I didn't actually like the person. Other people did it all the time. I guess I never traveled in a pack ... and I certainly wouldn't have had some of the experience that I've had if I hadn't been by myself. Maybe those "others" would just consider me "odd." Entirely possible!

I might do these "social" things with someone else ... but only if that person is good company and can travel in harmony. Otherwise, it just isn't fun. I like my own company (thank goodness!) and am just not a person who is easily bored .... although I might be "boring," even though my daughter says I'm not.

But, I might need courage to stand up for myself, to speak up, to let my voice out. Do I even know what my inner voice says? Have I muffled it somehow? Do I have the courage to LET HER SPEAK?

Talk about stream of consciousness here! Wow! I had a spiritual dream long ago ... maybe 25 years ... that is still vivid. It was a bright, you-are-there type of dream where sound was coming out of my pores in 360 degree angles ... and I heard exactly that ... LET HER SPEAK! Amazing! I will have to ponder that.

I guess finding courage ... or inner strength ... requires stretching the self and discovering it within. It appears that I will need to listen.


1 Comments:

  • reading this kind of entry makes me feel like i'm getting a jump start on maturity. gracias.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:31 PM  

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