more pearls than whine

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Move over Flat Stanley

Maybe macabre conversation, but was definitely humorous, too:

I was feeling overcome with the heat (and it's only June!) and thinking that it could possibly do me in, especially if I tried to push myself in it.

Me: Hey, I think I'd better do my will. I'm going to leave all my junk to you (spouse) and then you'll have to dispose of it. Hahahahaha

Spouse: No! No! Can I refuse it?

Me: Yeah, I think so. In any case, I'm reminding you that I want to be cremated and I don't care what you do with the ashes.

Spouse: I thought you wanted to be put on a plant or something.

Me: I don't really care. Hmmmmmm. Well, you could scatter my ashes all over the world. This way I would get to travel. (That would probably be breaking all kinds of laws ... but, some people say *grin* laws are made to be broken.)

Yeah, you could carry around some of my ashes in your pocket ... kind of like lint ... and casually dribble a bit here and dribble a bit there. Like in Shawshank Redemption when he carried the dirt from the hole he was digging in his cell out to the prison yard and added it ... undetected ... to the dirt already there.

Me: Hmmmmm. I should probably do my traveling in the flesh. It would probably be more fun.

Spouse: I want my ashes thrown out the window of the car on Route 90 in Wyoming ... so no one will be able to find me.

Me: But you'd be in the wind, which means you'd be everywhere. We could wait for a tornado ...

By this time my audience had pretty much lost interest in my excessive flights of fancy and was walking away.

Still, I had to chase him down to tell him about FLAT STANLEY, who also makes me think of the traveling gnome in the commercials. (So my imagination took me one more step. I could also picture some unique container [with my ashes in it] being photographed in exotic settings ... But I didn't share that tidbit.)

I told him that every once in a while grandparents bring a child's hand colored picture of Flat Stanley -- he's about a foot tall ... and flat -- (a lot of children in elementary school seem to be doing this) to the museum ... and photograph him in, on, or near different exhibits. They have so much fun with Flat Stanley, probably more than their grandchildren do, and take him wherever they go some place interesting.

After some thought and a few laughs ... I found it funny ... I decided that I'm going to go to exotic places while I'm alive, thank you very much. I'm making a list.

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